Articles

Do not Judge Me! I am Just A Child

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Albert Einstein.

Every child is different. Has different talents, interests, strengths and weaknesses. In order for a child to thrive and excel, they need to be placed in the right environment, where he or she can get to exercise their strengths and passion, and not their weaknesses.

Once we understand and internalise that every single child cannot be measured by a distinct yardstick, we will go beyond the popular singular perception of ‘intelligence’ as solely ‘academic excellence’.

As being part of a system, where examination results are of utmost importance for further admissions, the sole purpose of a child’s early life becomes ‘cracking the examinations’. Instead of focussing and spending time on understanding and exploring the child’s aptitudes, talents and interests; parents’ priority becomes getting the child to be the first in class. Children are looked down upon, by their own family and teachers, for not scoring well or not getting an A+ in every subject being taught at school. While being good in studies is not an unimportant matter, we must keep in mind where the child’s interest lies. There is more to a fulfilled life than excelling in academics!

A 17 year old adolescent boy, interested in Physics, is handed Commerce subjects in his final years of schooling. This is because he could not score ‘enough’ in the previous grade examinations to deserve Natural Science subjects. He now lacks interest in the subjects he is forced to study, which in turn affect the effort put into his academics. His grades go downhill. This has tremendous repercussions for his college admissions.

Another teenage boy, indifferent to academics, goes on to become a world record holder for laying the first stone for a fashion magazine, at the tender age of 16. He begins to travel the world and gains unmatchable knowledge from experts in the fashion field.

What is the difference in these two situations? Had the decision makers in the first case been aware of the boy’s flair and knack for Physics, who’s to say that he would not have followed in Einstein’s footsteps? Had the academic institute provided him with the subjects of his interest, who’s to say that he would not be conducting a large scale research today?

Such instances of being stuck where the child doesn’t ‘belong’ are not uncommon. We have either gone through them ourselves or know someone who felt the same way. It is of great importance to know wherein the child’s passion, fascination, and attraction lies!

As Einstein’s quote enlightens us, one should overcome the stigma attached to ‘not being good in studies’ or not being ‘at the top of the class’. It is OKAY for your child to be more interested in sports, or a better student of the performing arts. It is also acceptable for your child to not be interested in anything early in life. With adequate exposure and passage of time, children will discover themselves and will eventually know where their passion and interest lies. It is then, that you work towards honing that passion and interest to reach the child’s maximum potential!

Howard Gardner, a developmental psychologist, stresses that ‘intelligence’ is not a single general ability. Rather, intelligence can be differentiated into specific modalities. He describes the linguistic, logical- mathematical, naturalistic, spatial, bodily- kinaesthetic, musical, interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences. Gardner proposed that all these eight intelligences are present in everyone in different quantities, and work together to resolve difficulties. While someone high on interpersonal intelligence would be able to freely communicate and interact with others in daily life, he or she may not be very good with numbers. Someone high on logical- mathematical would be able to easily solve complex algorithms and completing puzzles, but may not be very fond of attending social gatherings. Once we grasp and incorporate a more holistic view of intelligence in our daily lives, only then will we be able to open and expand our minds, and discontinue judging a fish by how well it climbs a tree!

World famous Indian personalities such as Ramakrishna Paramhansa, Sachin Tendulkar, Azim Premji, Aamir Khan, Mary Kom, Kapil Dev and Pandit Birju Maharaj, the embodiment of greatness, have all pursued their passion and reached the zenith!

Tips for Parents:

• Understand that your child's poor grades are not an accurate indicator of his or her intelligence. Very sharp and intelligent children also can fare badly, while children of average intelligence can top the class if they are hard-working and determined.
• Take a backseat  and let the child be.
• Observe your child quietly and see the passions emerge.
• Don't compare one child with your other. Your child's performance will certainly not improve by doing so, and you will only be sowing the seeds for sibling rivalry that can last a lifetime.
• Do not be reactive if the child’s choice does not match yours.
• The worst thing you can do is to curtail your child's extra-curricular activity so that he or she pays more attention to his studies
• Provide adequate exposure so the child can learn about himself or herself.
• Have faith that your child will do well eventually.
• Let the child know that he or she has your unconditional support .

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author's and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.